Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
