at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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