Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize