I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize