there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
smell my finger.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
