I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you had me at cake vodka
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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