I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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