Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
