Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize