I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
