rhymes with "ouble enetration"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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