When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Randomize
