no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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