whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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