marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
