My hand turned me down
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
