i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
