My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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