It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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