You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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