Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
that is very illegal...i love you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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