Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
