Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
