so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
