ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
