He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
