I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
