In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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