dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
