What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There are leaves in my underwear?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
