woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
