Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize