Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
