I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I bet he comes in French.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
