We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I touched a dick in church today
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