Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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