Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
even my farts smell like vagina
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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