I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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