I wish i was in the wii world.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
