just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My nipple is on Facebook.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
