Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
