It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
