ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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