East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm passing your future prison.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize