my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
