May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
