you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize