i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
