I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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