I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
