Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
