I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
