I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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