Whoa Z and x make the same sound
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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