I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize