Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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