Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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