he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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