allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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