I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
