when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
